I still can remember how bad my headache was during the New Year's Eve, and how much I hated my sudden decision to have my hair cut. It looked terrible. It was January when I woke up in the morning with my broken eyeglasses. During that time I was overthinking over someone too, and yes, it gave me a broken heart.
The same month, I was worrying about having income because my photography freelancing is not doing well. February when I joined Star Magic. It's still a love and hate experience. I did have many broken moments during the progress I had to go through before they approved the new branding of Tabing Ilog. It was March when I feel like it's over.
Anyways April felt harsher, but finally in May, we have Alyssa and Gat (her classmate) joining my team as interns. They helped me so much, and wishing them to stay.
May 6th when we had our 2nd thesis presentation, our panels didn't like the outcome. I was wondering how can we find those 'element meanings'. I thought we're lost and no chances at all.
Around May also when my Mac wasn't booting up, I worry if that's the time I should replace it. But thank God that the only problem was it was grounded because of a card-reader! At the same month, I received my salary for two and a half month and by first week of June, I bought a MacBook for more convenient job.
But June 6th, a shitty day has happened. All before that, our MV, Makahiya, which was released last March 28, was screened on June 4 at school for Best MV for LyCinema 2024. Although it received good comments, it failed to be on the Top 4. That day I already felt broken. Luckily, our collab project with other college friends (Razen Prod.), the Museo ng Pag-asa AVP won as Best Corporate Video.
That gave us a chance to attend the FDCP Cinematheque LyCinema awarding. God knows how happy I am for my friends and the whole team, but I couldn't hide how broken I was for our MV not receiving anything at all.
I joined some of our friends for a KFC dinner, as they are the winning team. But shit lang, I dropped my phone at the parking lot.
It was a rainy day and I feel like I was "today's pick" in terms of all bad lucks and bad jokes and bad takes among my college friends.
It's the worst EVER.
I asked them to book a JoyRide for me, and I had my most dramatic emote lang habang nasa motor pota, feeling emotional and all that— in a rainy scene.
Idk but there's something in me that changed in a good way. I allow myself to feel those hurts and I never let these struggles to consume me for so long. I was able to find some ways to cheer myself up as I always remind myself that I'll be feeling better and will get through this.
When my eyeglasses got broken in January, I have an extra eyeframe that fits the same lens.
When I felt broken over someone in January, well at least it feels different now— I don't like jowa muna and I love that I am more on career-focused!
When my father got hospitalised in February, he was able to overcome that and he become more health conscious.
When I was struggling at Tabing Ilog poster, I was able to illustrate and draw, and have them approved, even though I don't draw at all. I got a 'river break' din in Bataan, which is one of the most relaxing places I've ever visited.
When our thesis project failed to pass last May, at least now our advisers can see a strong potential.
When my Mac mini wasn't starting up, it turned out it was just grounded. And since I got my salary, I bought MacBook for me.
When our work and my work for MV school project didn't get recognition, well I got 'Happy BINI Day' being shown across Star Magic and BINI accounts, and printed all over One Ayala. The bosses and BINI saw it, and they loved it!
I still can remember when we're promoting that event, I was so busy at our school exhibit, there was a reason why I was teamed up with Lourdes. I hated her revisions on my works but we blended well in the end. I'm very thankful to her.
When my phone got broken, my best friend Mariel, handed me her spare phone until I buy a new one (hopefully in July pls!)
Half of the year made me feel broken, but I credit and recognize myself as someone who give and make solutions to corner these things. I know these are just part of the challenges, and maybe a test of how I'll perceive these 'bad days'.
I realized that there are so many events that have happened in a span of 6 months, and I wonder how I was able to survive those. I'm glad I didn't let myself feel too down. I've walked around our area for so many afternoons and evenings just to feel fine and reflected on things— it worked. I'm very thankful that I'm never 'zero' at all. I love that I trusted time, the process, and letting the days pass by— they all worked.
To God, whoever you are, thanks for making me survive these. Idk why but pls??? Let me have good days starting from July??? I have suffered enough huhu. Kahit hindi na swerte, basta swabe lang.
Laban lang sige na, sige na. I still worry about our thesis, but sana maging okay na para cleared na for graduation pls!
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