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2024 Feels Different

It really took me more than 4 months to finally add a new story here. So many things have happened after January. One of those is an opportunity from ABS-CBN Star Magic. All thanks to my SHS classmate, Aira, for referring me. 

2024 feels different. Though I tried to connect and pattern it with the past 2 years because two were the best years of my career as a student working freelance. I thought it's going to be the same thing, but I was wrong. While I try to pattern my year to past 2 years, the universe truly misaligned it and brought me into a new path—which is so different and challenging to me.

Since January I really find it weird that I barely get client in photography, and was actually planning to launch Sebensu Design Studio as my new 'raket'. I've been doing ads and promos for my photography but it's really 'maalat'. 

Lahat ng savings ko pabawas. 

So I started praying to God and ask him, what's going to be the next plan? I'm so scared to be dependent again. One thing I hate about myself is I'm spending money a lot when I have that unstable income! 

February came and Aira messaged me about Star Magic. She told me the work is just social media management, produce art cards for Tabing Ilog The Musical's rerun. So I checked the page and I find it doable on my part. I was interviewed by Sir Justin, my head in Sales and Marketing, and told me that he trusts Aira and did not interview anyone anymore.

I'm sooo excited and pressured about this new opportunity. Bro, it's ABS-CBN! It's Star Magic! A dream company since I was young!

It still feels surreal. I feel kilig whenever I tell people, "I work in ABS-CBN. In Star Magic." 

But behind all that is myself having self doubts all the time, thinking that I don't deserve this job and I'm too mediocre for this role. But I keep on thinking, if I feel this way and tolerate it, and resign just for this reason— then what else I can do after ABS-CBN? After graduation? In the real real world? 

I know I'm too emotional, sensitive, doubtful, that's why I should teach myself to be strong and confident. I need to manage my time in school and work. 

Keep in mind that this is it, WORK.

I've tried to illustrate for Tabing Ilog, I can't believe that I can do that. Now I'm working in Star Magic workshops and doubting myself again. I'm thinking of saying goodbye to my kind and understanding bosses. 

I hope after I write this, things start to be okay in my head. I hate that myself is being against me. The universe and ABS-CBN trust me, so I should take care of that.

The salary is somehow low, but at least this is a permanent and fixed job until December. I have no things to worry after graduation. 

This is a blessing. 

Up until now I don't have a contract, no salary either. It's a red flag, but if ever I'll be resigning— I told myself that I should just do it when I can't do things anymore. If it's too tiring, draining, and unfair. This is the real world, I have to see it and experience it.

I'll only get away of Star Magic in 3 reasons:
1. I resign
2. I get fired
3. December, end of contract

Or 4. Copyright due to elements I use LOL

God knows how much happy and thankful I am with this opportunity, and I am just thinking negatively all because of overlapping school works and demand in work. Well actually, things are relax and people in Star Magic are not really setting deadlines. 

I really really wish now to be fully okay and master my job. I hope my works get approved in time. I hope by reading this years from now, I already improved and known designer or poster maker just like Justin Besana! 

Seventh, u can do it! ❤️
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